![]() Yet, there were challenges in which I had to address, my perception of as insurmountable. I surprised myself by meeting their challenges and receiving some acclaim for my accomplishments. Like myself, like all humans, they were desirous of outer confirmation, of external world approval. I recognized the core of their challenge. There were challenges too in the competitiveness of my fellow students. At every peak, a new level of elation spurred me further and so much deeper IN to my purpose in being here. Am I really willing to die for this? I asked myself. ![]() Initially, technical rope climbing to reach the peaks of bald mountains floored me by its danger. ![]() All the same, I set about succeeding at this mountaineering stuff, because of this dread of my failure to know any real happiness in life. I saw the external worlds of humans as intolerable, as unwelcoming, as a constant defeat before I rose from my bed each morning. My dad fondly called me “fearless.” But I knew differently. You may have anticipated that this is not a sharing of the specifics of rigorous mountaineering though. Again, another opportunity to break my mental conception of what I can do. I don’t recall how I chose the mountaineering school I chose however, I absolutely recall my astonishment at how rigorous my chosen school turned out to be. Why not make the wilderness my occupation? So, I signed up for mountaineering school. It was only a matter of time before I found myself pursuing a more responsible version of being in the wilderness. Of course, every job required me to expand my own idea of what I was capable of! and took me down new paths of learning and increasing my awareness. prior to stepping in to the various positions. I accepted jobs and roles that I did not conceive of myself being involved in. Consequently, I kept setting up the conditions to get back to the wilderness. As a result, unexpected experiences perpetually unfolded. Naturally, I pursued such an experience over and over again. I, also, experienced the most remarkable elation just being in nature. Through all my experimentation with the physical, emotional, and psychological worlds, I persistently found privacy and deep contemplation in nature’s beauty. The wilderness of mountains and forests where few tread increasingly became a living metaphor for me. In younger years, I explored every avenue that opened up before me.
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